Pubbing, clubbing and puke

I was 16 and a half and I was waiting for my boss to pick me up on a cold Friday morning.  I realised this weekly pay packet would give me enough money to go out into Oxford town centre with my friends on the booze for the very first time, all of us were in the same boat never been out together, so pubbing for the first time was mega exciting for us.  Our only previous was ye olde bottles of thunderbird blue, a couple of tins of some below strength lagers and we were hardcore, hanging around my friends house and getting lagered up and just collapsing.

Me and all my friends were greyhound mad and it will come as no surprise that we all worked for greyhound trainers, a job we all loved but the pay was awful, hence it took us all weeks to save up as we were all paying rent and also we all liked gambling (mine led to a gambling addiction) a story for another night.  Anyway back to my boss picking us up and as we scrambled through our daily chores of cleaning no end of greyhound wee and poo up and doing the greyhound training side of things we were all dropped off home, straight into the shower and into my bedroom to pick from what truly was, looking back on it some blooming shocking clothing.  We started phoning each other and arranged a meet up time and place.  7 o'clock was decided, at Mcdonalds, my excitement was fantastic I was going out to get drunk and in my mind pull a woman, yes woman, not girl, lol. 

So after telling my mum and dad over dinner that I was going out to a friends house to watch a VHS video and get a pizza in, I zoomed upstairs to finally put my threads on.  I chose some Levi's 618's simply because my legs were to chunky for 501's, I put a white shirt on with some floral design on the shoulders and walked proudly to the bathroom to apply a tub of cement feeling gel to my bus shelter hairdo (chesney hawkes style).  I thought I looked pretty damn handsome, key in pocket and small wedge of cash, only needed 20 quid to get tanked back then and still arrive home with customary pile of change. I went to the local bus stop and took the 25 minute ride to town, after getting off the bus we met at Mcdonalds and looking back now we looked like a combination of Bros and Brother Beyond.

We headed into our first pub and ordered our drinks, the night progressed really well, 2 drinks and we were all well and truly drunk.  It seemed that our topic of conversation was clubbing and who would be the first to pull a woman (haha not girl) not thinking we would all need to suddenly grow stubble to even look 18 for entry, anyway back then dancing in pubs and having your friends pint thrown onto the back of your shirt seemed acceptable.  11'o'clock and I have eyed up so many women, had so many thoughts, but my talk to a female count (except barmaids) was a stunning zero, so this was it we would attempt to get in 5th Avenue one of the few clubs in Oxford back then.  We queued forever and a day but bingo we got in, now this was my time, women everywhere and all doing the sidewards and few dodgy steps to the front square dance, but wow it looked good.  We strode towards the dance floor wow we looked good, ladies here we come, blink of an eye and our first night clubbing was over.  My friend has chucked up everywhere and back then it was eviction time, doormen ushering us out.  It was night over, we walked the 6 miles back to our houses not saying much but still knowing we all had had a start to a fantastic drinking career together.

Key in door and sneak upstairs my mission was done my parents would never know, not until I woke the next morning and had covered my dartboard and wall in puke anyway, so my adult pubbing and clubbing was underway but a big zero on the lady front.