Daddy's Humble Pie

After seeing my gorgeous daughter Isabella being born, I was very unlucky and got struck down with suspected swine flu.  This meant that for seven days after her birth I was in basic isolation in our bedroom and quite out of it.  After recovering and being able to integrate with my babies again I found that I was, without knowing, was giving Oliver more daddy time than Isabella.  I could not pinpoint this at the time but something was missing and I was baffled, after all my wife had provided me with the most gorgeous beautiful daughter.

I was stuck in a really funny mindset as I knew I loved my children all equally and yes we love them the same but also in peculiar ways a tad different, if that makes sense.  I was starting to understand with Oliver why I seemed to be doing everything to Oliver's call and whistle and putting Issy on the back burner.  I have a 10 year old son, Harry, who lives in Oxford as I left his mum when he was two. I can now see that I had become scared of rejection and being pushed away by Oliver as I knew I would be heading into uncharted territory with him once he got to two.  I had not done the potty training with Harry and had not been a big enough part of his life to have a say and help him develop a tad of his dads ways (lucky I hear you say).

I knew my daddy love and parenting skills had to change with Oliver because although at the time, that extra bit of t.v, the extra chunk of chocolate, the outstretched arms with cute eyes saying "pick me up daddy" as my legs are going to drop off scenario, that "lift me out of my buggy daddy as I need a cuddle and mum can push a £600 pound pram along the promenade empty", yes all of this I am guilty as charged and knew it had to stop.

So it was 4-5 months ago that the penny dropped and I realised that although I was not hurting my son I was teaching him and allowing him to drop into awful habits.  Plus I did not want Isabella watching and copying. Just to say mine and Isabella's bond has grown to such a massive one that it feels like the love and care and attention I have for my daughter could explode out of me at anytime!  It took me a while but we are bonded just the same as I am with Oliver and although Oliver still does get a bit more daddy attention, but I am working on that.

My first job to tackle was the picking up and carrying of Olly.  It had got to the stage where I may as well have had Velcro attached to me and, this was a) Making him very lazy and b) Sending out the wrong signal. Each time he whinged I would pick him up, a quick fix but only short term solution. Anyway as per ear bend from wife and the long pointed wagging index finger I stopped picking Oliver up every minute of every day. I must say that it took a long time, but he very quickly got used to daddy only picking him up if he had properly hurt himself or when we just wanted to share a random cuddle.  This also started straight away giving me some much needed Isabella time, which is just as magical as Oliver time.

My second issue to tackle was Olivers eating habits.  I truly believed that if Oliver had a mouthful of dinner and made no effort to eat anymore then it was fine and dandy for old chubby fingers me to pick his fork up and feed feed feed, but oh no, old pointy index finger got me again.  Karen explained how lazy Oliver had become with his eating now daddy was feeding him and how this again would affect his development.  My train of thought was that if I got him to eat then all was well.  Wifey was right though.  I left Oliver for a few nights and sure enough this excellent little boy with his table manners and lovely feeding skills was now back up and running.  Hooray listen number two and low and behold success number two.

My last task to tackle is my inability to say no to Oliver.  For example, Oliver being the eldest of my two children living with me had become very territorial with his toys.  He will shout as if being murdered when Isabella tries to join in, or attempts to pick a toy up, and my way was to give Oliver the toy he screamed for and palm Issy off with anything that was within reach.  By this time I turned to Mrs Marquick, her of pointy waggy finger, and she told me we needed to start by teaching Olly to share.  This worked a treat the next time he screamed that Issy had taken from him I asked him to share and for him to pick a toy for Issy, although this started as a bogey or paperclip lol, it has progressed that Olly will now share very good toys with Issy and he also knows she won't ruin them.

It is all still a massive work in progress with Oliver but my word by accepting help and advice from Karen my gorgeous wife we are slowly starting to notice massive steps forward by Oliver and he is learning slowly all the right things are the best things. It will take time to iron out the bad habits that I have instilled in him, but please remember if you have children the correct and sometimes what seems hard road is the best road. It works, believe me our house is settling into a much more productive and happy house now that daddy is no longer afraid of being rejected.  Children flourish from being taught the right things/ways. Thanks for reading G.

Fresh Start for the Pools

Having been a proud Poolie (Hartlepool United) fan for as many years as I can remember nobody can doubt that for such a small club with limited resources, we have had lots of lows (endless reapplying to the football league for re-election) and a few (cough cough) relegation's.  

We have also gathered a nice bit of credit over the last 10 or so years, playoff final although a defeat was a massive high and plus for everybody associated with the club.  Every Poolie will have been as proud punch to have got into the playoffs as this meaning the season had been a lofty finish.  We also had our promotions; both our last two we were so close to capturing the league title but still a huge punching above our weight achievement.

Now I live 327 miles away from The Vic and have a very young family so my forays these days are away games which are within striking distance (usually a hundred miles away max) the rest of my following is via my Pools Player which I subscribe to each year, although the new console is not great and not without its problems, but there is excellent commentary from the ever bubbly Mark Simpson.  On top of this my financial outlay always borders ridiculous in my bank statements, eyes on what I spend each season on Pools.  Generally me and the boys both have home and away shirts.  This season me and Karen (wifey) and kids have sponsored club legend, Club captain and all round fantastic guy Ritchie Humphreys away shirt.  We have had the honour on a few occasions of meeting Ritchie and he has always taken the time to have a quick chat and never grumbles at having photos taken with us.  Our wall in the front room is a Poolie shrine with pictures of various players and a fantastic framed card of the players autographs.  Also me and my two toddlers have two bricks on the centenary wall.

Our expenses to visit our away games has run into hundreds, so we really are south coast massive Hartlepool fans. So this leads me to give a quick insight into the modern Hartlepool side and manager choice.  Our squad when you dissect it has, on paper, some fantastic players worthy on their best days of getting into a lot of peoples this era Poolie squads.  For Instance we have Scott Flinders, he has emerged into a fantastic keeper for us, Jack Baldwin will surely play in the Championship, if not higher, Peter Hartley and Sam Collins both on their days tanks and solid centre backs, Ritchie Humphreys Legend, Paul Murray solid no nonsense wears his heart on his sleeve (wish he was 10 years younger) and Tony Sweeney engine and eye for goal.  James Poole oozes talent and just needs a string of games to show it, Luke James is a rough diamond but is so talented it is scary, Andy Monkhouse now is a really steady workhorse and Simon Walton is going to be class for us as long as he gets a fair crack of the whip.  This is to mention but a few.

So on their best days we all know these footballers can do it.  We have seen this from them all. Now after a fantastic start to last season (9 unbeaten I believe) we hit an awful slump and lost countless games at home and this cost Mick Wadsworth his job.  Micky Barron and Ritchie took over the ship and in my eyes did a blooming good job with Luke James bursting on the scene being a massive plus point.  Our next appointment to everybody's delight including mine was all round nice guy and in some peoples eyes a near God as far as Poolie managers goes, Mr Neale Cooper.  Now I have a strict no matter how much you like a guy, in football going back for second dibs at a club very rarely works, but I crossed my fingers and hoped.  Cooper in all his 11 months back, for whatever reason, just could not work his magic.  Who knows what went on and we can all guess and speculate but not for the want of trying things just did not work.  I remember being at the Wycombe game last season and it was the most lacklustre performance I had seen from a ~Pools side, combined with the fact Wycombe were fighting for safety and also had what seemed like 654 loan players popping up everywhere, we were well and truly drubbed 5-0.  My only consolation was that it was a scorching hot afternoon and they did half decent food.  

After that game I remember telling Karen that I felt we were on a slippery slope and sure enough our season just petered out.  This season we have only added 3 players to our squad but I felt with the players who came in we would have a pretty decent squad to really push on and have a right go at the league this season.  On the downside our form this season has been nothing short of **** (well you can fill your own blanks).  This led to Neale Cooper doing what we all knew was coming and he resigned. Short-term Micky Barron has been put in charge until we (swiftly) in my eyes put a new manager in the hot seat.  Again we will all have our own ideas who we want at the helm.  I would like to see Phil Brown come in.  We have already proven for whatever reason after Saturdays game we have found a bit of our Never Say Die Spirit.  We have a long way to go but I just have a feeling some fresh ideas the right starting 11 and we can get out of this mess.

You may call me stupid but believe me if we can get going in the right direction we can still salvage something from this season.  So lets do what us Poolies do best, lets stick together and support the lads like we always do and lets as a collective unit get out of this mini slump and quick.

My final two things are:

1. We need to keep Noble and Wyke for the season and; 
2. This is my modern era Poolie select squad. 

GK Dimi 
RB Micky Barron
CB Graeme Lee
CB Michael Nelson
LB Hugh Robertson
LM Ritchie Humphreys
CM Tommy Miller
CM Mark Tinkler
RM Tony Sweeney
CF Joel Porter
CF Adam Boyd

Subs: Flinders, Collins, Murray, Brown, E Williams

Just remember once a Poolie always a Poolie

Poolies are born not made