How I met my Soulmate

Well it was nearly 4 years ago, I was single and ready to mingle.  I had been at work all day (at shitty link) and as per usual having a good chat to the guys at the depot.  We got onto the subject of clunge, boobs and when we had last had dates etc.  Well it seemed like we were all mouldier than some grotty cheese stuck at the back of our fridges, but all pretending to be stud porn stars.  Anyway a friend of mine called Chris had been having a trifle of luck on a dating website called Plenty of Fish.  I of course gave it the large one and scoffed and said I had the women dropping at my feet as soon as I hit the clubs, but looking down realised I had so much free space around my feet that secretly I would get back and after donning wig, beard and glasses and would take a look at this website.

After a few ciders I set up profile and logged on.  Now, it was fair to say that my profile pictures looked as though I had just starred in a horror film, but trawling through and through the courage of cider and I spot this gorgeous woman.  Without a second thought I went off into a drunken flurry of introducing myself as some overgrown Shrek who was a genuine nice guy blah blah blah.....and hit send!  My power of thought was that even if this gorgeous blonde woman messaged back I could have a  tug at the very least, anything else meant shaving and looking human again and speaking to women again.

So, the following day I went off to work as normal with the usual drone of City Link and then back to my sisters where I was crashing, anyway I brewed the laptop up and in the pit of my stomach was clinging to a small bit of hope that I had been messaged back.  Shit, poo and bingo my inbox was showing a message, do I open it and see the owner of the site telling me off for stalking people, lol.....nope I stood tall clicked open and the blonde chick has messaged back, OMG, what a result!  Quickly I thought check her profile pic, maybe she was blind, nope eyes fully functional, anyway I messaged back and we slung a few messages at each other and exchanged details.  After many texts and messages and checks through my empty diary we agreed a meet  We settled for  first rendevous on a Friday lunchtime.  I don't think she bargained at 1'o'clock for a green and yellow City Link van to pull up outside her work, anyway in true movie style this elegant big boobed blonde comes wandering to my van, my god she was even better in the flesh....hubba hubba....willy tingling a tad (been a while) lol.  She climbed quite elegantly into the van and that was it, I was over the moon all I remember was just non stop talking.  I could not have told you if she was a mute or not, I just knew she was gorgeous, anyway our date drifted us down to the local petrol station (romantic) to grab a coffee a hot chocolate and some very precious time together.  I really really liked this woman so much I was praying my yabber and spiel was not off putting, hey no fear I looked round to see she is pushing display stands over complaining of luke warm coffee.  I knew from then I had found my soulmate, lol.

We drove back to work and I knew I needed to see this woman again but feared she was way out of my league (she was), anyway as I said goodbye I only managed to get into 2nd gear and my phone beeped, I was offered a second date, and as they say, the rest is history.  That day I met Karen, my wife, my soulmate and mummy to my babies....I am the happiest man alive.